I have problems

Last night for dinner I made southern deep fried chicken. Healthy? No. Delicious? Yes. For dessert I made deep fried apple pies. Healthy? NO! Delicious?? Oh yeah!!! I don't really know what was up with all the deep fried food. I blame it on the food network that I have been watching during the kids' naps. It makes me want to cook and bake. So I went online and that's what looked good. Once I got the idea in my head, there was no stopping me. I don't even want to think about how many calories and grams of fat were in that entire meal. The past couple of weeks, all I have wanted to do is eat and eat and eat. I feel like I have had absolutely no self control. All of the sudden I am this huge carb addict who eats whole loaves of french bread. I'll eat a fatty muffin, even if it doesn't sound very good. I have been having a really hard time cooking lately. I blame it on my stupid kitchen. When I watch the food network, I dream of a day that I will have a normal sized kitchen and be able to cook a meal normally, without having to juggle counter, sink and stove space. We are leaving on vacation next week, and I know it will be just the break I need to get things back on track when we come back.

I feel like I really need to get things in order for this winter, as I have a feeling it is going to be really hard with the boys... staying in this tiny apt most days. I want to be prepared with fun activities and games for them. I also really want to eat more healthy as a family. Both Nate and I are trying to lose weight and just be more healthy in general, and I feel like we need to make some big changes. Most of that starts with me and doing smart grocery shopping and meal planning and actually cooking. I need to get over my kitchen. I need to just accept that this is it and embrace it. Or at the very least, just deal with it without complaining. I am getting there.

Anyway, sorry, this is a totally random boring post. But I just needed to express some frustrations. I know I can be better at all these things... I just need to be organized and have some self control. I can and will do it!! But first, we are going to have a very fun month long vacation visiting our fams. Can't wait!